JOB ALERT! My phone blurts out Abundantly Unpredictably In the bathroom! Right out of bed! Now? But I didn’t even have coffee! I am cornered Cortisol spike Red throbbing light Pulse racing Round the weapons Slide down the pole! Conscientious self to dopey one: you must answer the call of the Job search Hunting season is open! Now or it will fly away forever Or fight the intruder That dared to trouble The smooth water Of the lake of your mind until now In the olden days Before Steve Jobs that is You bought the fat Sunday paper And scanned the Help Wanted section Treasure Hunt over leisurely coffee Sometimes you cut up little squares And pasted them in a notebook With paper glue Then you folded the paper And you waited peacefully with the satisfaction of a job well done And you shuffled to the kitchen To prepare a slow-cooked pot-au-feu Nowadays you are bombarded And I know by experience That the missiles are empty threats Didn’t take long for this old dog To learn new tricks.