CHARMING CAPE IN GREAT CONDITION
“This lovely, well-maintained home
has been cared for by the same owners for decades”
It’s been on the market for 75 days – I check on it from time to time
hoping to see marked as sold
and not suspended in limbo
the shell of my ex-in-laws’ home
who vacated in favor of assisted living.
It looks like a cookie-cutter box to you, just a house –
The listing description doesn’t mention
the kitchen view of the birdfeeders and their faithful hummingbirds,
the green and gold wallpaper I know so well, still in place,
or the texture of the blinds, the top of the radiator,
my ex-husband’s bedroom, once revisited by young lovers,
old childhood pennants on the walls, baseball cards, vinyl records,
the parents’ bedroom next wall over,
its darkened windows like eyes closed.
It doesn’t mention the downstairs TV den with its couch
where young lovers met and cuddled,
where three sons and I brought back VHS tapes from the video store
like trophies,
it doesn’t mention how we played charades on holidays with relatives,
the smell of griddle pancakes, of fresh blueberry pie,
the Thanksgiving turkeys that always took all day to cook,
later on the high chairs, the rubber duckies in the tub,
the flowers in the yard where my kids dug their roots
the oodles of pictures we took of them there.
Surely every nook and cranny must keep a molecular knowledge
of the loads of love and holiday excitement?
Nobody asked me if I had removed all my memories
before the place was sanitized and put on the market
It was none of my business anyway – we had split up ten years before
And I am not one overly attached to material things,
But how could this happen so unceremoniously?
Why wasn’t there a pow wow, with rain dances and
deliberations with the gods? Especially Hestia?
I bet she’d have something to say.
I see the house on the website as I would
a newly dead displayed in the funeral parlor.
The owls on the wallpaper going down to the basement must feel bewildered
Don’t let them wonder too long where life has gone.
I needed to emote about the sale of a house that contained my own past, the shock of the discrepancy between the material thing, the walls, and a whole set of vivid memories. Maybe I am not the only one with this experience.
Grain de sable 
No, you are not the only one. Thank you for putting in order and writing out for us what you have spoken from your heart. I admire the way you placed retrospection, description, reflection, and commentary in a naturally flowing discourse. I especially enjoyed “oodles of pictures” and the indigenous pow-wow suddenly transformed into the classical “deliberations with the gods”.
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My divorce was largely orchestrated by my ex-grandmother-in-law, who decided I was no longer good enough to be part of that family. We used to visit them 3-4 times a month, never my own grandmother. About 7 years after the separation, the old bat went wherever she deserved, and the family sold her house. I was surprised to find myself disappointed by that news.
All that is to say I get it.
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I totally empathize with you. Things can become so bitter. In my case, I decided it was time to turn the page to a new chapter, and it made sense for me not to stay to much in touch for everybody’s sake. I did encourage my kids to be in contact though. There were no hard feelings between me and the in-laws. So… I thought it would be better not to post your comment, because I don’t want anyone on my side to get the wrong idea. It does transpire from your posts how you had a hard time with your separation – you have all my sympathies.
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Shame on me, I didn’t notice you were sometimes writing in english ! Families stories are inexhaustible subjects ! mainly bad memories ! thanks for sharing.
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